Falling in love is a complex, multi-faceted experience. This feeling is influenced by a number of factors, including biological, psychological, cultural and social factors. Although we tend to believe that love comes from the heart, it’s actually the brain that’s in charge. So how and why do we fall in love? Here’s our little guide to love!
Falling in love: why does it happen?
Falling in love is first and foremost about connecting with the other person. The ‘psychological’ reasons for falling in love do exist: they can be cultural, social, or linked to very specific events and experiences. Of course, your values also come into play when you fall in love. For example, if you attach great importance to sharing a common passion, you’re more likely to become attached to someone who embodies that.
But love is also, above all, a question of hormones. When you love someone, your brain produces dopamine, oxytocin and noradrenaline. These neurohormones are associated with the pleasant feelings you get when you’re in the presence of your favourite person.
How do love hormones work?
Here’s how each hormone influences your well-being:
- Dopamine is involved in a number of cognitive functions, such as movement, emotions, cognition and motivation. The brain releases dopamine when you experience something pleasurable: eating something good, having sex or achieving one of your goals. It creates that feeling of well-being and achievement. As a result, dopamine reinforces the desire to repeat the activity that releases it.
- Oxytocin is often called the ‘love and attachment hormone’. The brain produces large quantities of oxytocin when we have physical contact with a loved one: cuddling, sexual relations, but also breastfeeding and childbirth. It also regulates the attachment you feel for someone. What’s more, it’s a formidable ally against anxiety and stress! That’s why you feel so calm and good when you’re with your lover.
- Noradrenaline is the hormone that responds to stress or excitement (particularly sexual). It’s very important when it comes to falling in love: it’s what makes you feel that excitement, those butterflies in your stomach when you start a relationship. Its level may decrease over time, but that doesn’t mean there’s no more love!
The positive points of love and the hormones it releases
Falling in love, and love in general, is a cocktail of ‘good substances’. In fact, people who are in a relationship (and who are well together) tend to be less stressed and anxious. They also tend to be satisfied with their lives and feel happy. In any case, from a purely ‘scientific’ point of view, love is good for our brains!
As for the rest, we’ll leave you to decide. Especially if you heed the adage that love only lasts 3 years.
