Pain during sexual intercourse is more common than you might think. And the reasons? There are plenty of reasons. If you’re in this situation, we’d like to reassure you: it’s not fatal! There are various methods and specialists available to help you. We’ll explain everything.
What is pain during sexual intercourse?
When you feel pain during sexual intercourse, whatever form it takes, it’s called dyspareunia. It occurs during penetration and can be deep or superficial (we’ll explain all about it in the next chapter). The pain occurs during or after intercourse and can be in several different places.
Often recurring, dyspareunia is distressing. It can also affect your sexual relationship with your partner. It often has psychological repercussions. It can lead to a lack of self-confidence and a drop in libido… which is normal, given that you’re in pain!
What’s more, during the act of intercourse and out of fear of the pain, you will involuntarily contract your vaginal muscles. The result? You’re even less relaxed and the pain increases. If this sounds like you, we’d like to reassure you: there are several solutions to this problem. And you don’t have to feel guilty because your sexual desire is at half-mast. Listen to your body and talk to your partner about it.
The different types of dyspareunia
There are different types of dyspareunia:
– Superficial dyspareunia: pain during sexual intercourse occurs in the vulvar region (vulva, clitoris and vestibule). This type of pain is characterised more by a burning or irritation sensation during penetration.
– Deep dyspareunia: in this case, the pain tends to be deep inside the vagina during penetration. The pain can extend to the lower abdomen and is quite acute. They may also be accompanied by blood or abnormal vaginal secretions.
Dyspareunia can also be defined as primary (the pain has always been there) or secondary (the pain appeared after a ‘normal’ period).
Try to identify the pain as best you can and locate where it is coming from. Is it at the entrance to the vagina or at the bottom? In the belly? Towards the rectal area or your coccyx? Is it with every act of intercourse or just from time to time?
What causes dyspareunia?
There are many causes of dyspareunia. It can be caused by a physical problem:
- Various gynaecological infections: STIs or vaginal mycoses
- An allergic reaction
- Endometriosis
- Pelvic floor disorders (muscle or ligament abnormalities, for example)
- A tumour
- Hormonal imbalance, such as the menopause
- Following childbirth
If you suspect a physical problem, we recommend that you consult your gynaecologist.
Pain during sexual intercourse can also be psychological:
- Nervousness and everyday stress
- A past trauma
- Fear of penetration or the sexual act
- Lack of excitement
So how do you get rid of it?
Before seeing a specialist, there are a few things you can try to see if your pain during sex eases.
1. Do things at your own pace. If you need time to relax, let your partner know. There’s no need to stress about it, you’re there to have a good time.
2. Make sure you’re sufficiently lubricated. If you’re not sure, don’t hesitate to arm yourself with a lubricant that suits you.
3. Concentrate on your breathing. Inhaling and exhaling deeply will help you release muscle tension.
4. Take a break. If you feel your morale is suffering, don’t hesitate to explore other practices. There are plenty of ways to give yourself pleasure without necessarily having to penetrate.
5. Find out if it’s at a specific time in your menstrual cycle. There are lots of mobile apps on the market to help you keep track.
When should you seek medical advice?
If, despite our recommendations, you continue to experience pain during sexual intercourse, we recommend that you first consult a gynaecologist. He/she will examine you to rule out any physical cause, such as endometriosis or fungal infection, for example. Dermatological and bacteriological examinations may also be carried out if the initial investigations are unsuccessful. If all goes well ‘mechanically’, you can consult a sexologist or sex therapist.
How is pain during sexual intercourse treated?
Once the doctor has established a cause for your pain, you can move on to the next phase: recovery. Depending on the nature of the problem, the treatment will be adapted in consultation with specialists (whether gynaecological, dermatological or psychological). For example, if you have an infection, it will be treated with appropriate medication. The same applies to dermatological conditions. If your pain is linked to a hormonal imbalance, your gynaecologist may refer you to an endocrinologist, who specialises in hormones.
It is also possible to use alternative technologies. The use of a special laser can alleviate pain (which can be caused by the menopause). It regenerates the tissues of the vagina and makes them more supple. What’s more, there are new laser technologies that can alleviate pain caused by the menopause.
If the cause is psychological, sex/psychotherapy can be undertaken. It is also recommended if the dyspareunia is due to serious physical problems such as endometriosis. Pelvic physiotherapy may also be prescribed as a complement. Don’t hesitate to ask your doctor for a prescription. Pelvic floor therapy will help you release muscle tension and regain control of your body, gently.
✅ Things to remember
- Pain during sexual intercourse may be psychological or physical in origin
- If the problem recurs, it’s best to consult a gynaecologist first.
- Sex/psychotherapy and physiotherapy are good ways of getting to know your body better
