You’ve probably heard the expression ‘love lasts three years’: but how true is it? This statement may seem discouraging, especially if you want to build a long-term relationship. Don’t panic, little romantic, in this article we explain whether love has an expiry date and how it works from a scientific point of view. We also explain how love works from a scientific point of view.
Where does the expression ‘love lasts three years’ come from?
The expression ‘love lasts 3 years’ is often used to describe the limited duration of a romantic relationship. It was the French anthropologist Claude Lévi-Strauss who introduced the idea that relationships are divided into different stages: passion, intimacy and stabilisation. According to him, passion tends to fade after about 3 years. But is this true from a scientific point of view?
How love works
Neurotransmitters and love hormones
Love and the feeling of love are influenced by a number of factors: psychology, life experience, values, culture, religion and so on. But that’s not all! When you meet someone you like, your brain releases some rather pleasant neurotransmitters and hormones: dopamine and noradrenaline, among others. This is what makes the first few months of your relationship so precious and memorable: they directly influence the way you feel. Pleasure, happiness and well-being are the order of the day!
Do these love hormones diminish after three years?
The first three years are over, and you’ve settled into your relationship. And has the love disappeared? Of course not! But you don’t always feel those little butterflies in your stomach like you did at the beginning. Don’t worry, that’s normal. Over time, dopamine and norepinephrine levels will decrease as a result of familiarity and adaptation to the relationship. But this in no way means that the love is gone. This is when another hormone comes into play: oxytocin, the attachment hormone.
Oxytocin is released during moments of intimacy and tenderness, such as cuddling or kissing. Like dopamine and noradrenaline, it also confers a feeling of well-being. It helps to reduce stress, anxiety and even sensitivity to pain! Another good thing about oxytocin is that it contributes greatly to the feeling of satisfaction in your relationship.
How can you make your relationship last?
In long-term relationships, oxytocin can continue to play an important role in helping couples maintain a close and intimate relationship. A high level of oxytocin in your couple helps to maintain a satisfying and lasting relationship. There’s only one watchword: tenderness and cuddles galore! Even if feelings change, it doesn’t mean that love fades, but that it evolves into another form. The butterflies in the stomach and the excitement of the beginning are transformed into intimacy, trust and emotional security.
Of course, we’re talking to you from a purely scientific point of view. A relationship is not just about hormones and neurotransmitters. Love is fuelled by different factors, such as communication and complicity. Every relationship is unique, and how long it lasts depends on a whole host of factors: compatibility, goals, commitments and so on. So, to sum up, does love last three years? Of course not – love evolves!
